I’ve written a poem to commemorate the Lost finale this Sunday because I’m a giant geek, and that’s how I roll. I hope you like it, enjoy! :D
The time is finally upon us,
The end is drawing near.
I’d like to give it proper thanks
Before it disappears.
No doubt the end will shock and awe,
Impress, amaze, confuse.
But now it’s time to put our trust
In Lindelof and Cuse.
No matter how the ending goes,
We’ll no doubt be wanting more.
So for now I’d like to list the things
From Lost I’m thankful for.
***
Thanks for shirtless Sawyer, Sayid’s arms, and perma-stubble,
I’m glad the Losties kept their looks despite the constant trouble.
Thank you Lost for giving us the French lady’s transmission,
Which freaked us out way more than the lack of rescue missions.
Thank you for the wild boars, Dharma sharks, and polar bears,
The Hurley Bird, and Kate’s horse – which I think was really there.
Thanks for the Smoke Monster with all its freaky sounds,
And thank you for that time it tried pulling John Locke underground.
Thanks for the hatch and its button, which always needed pressing,
And thanks for Hurley’s love for Dharma brand ranch dressing.
Thank you for the flashback wigs, they tickled me immensely,
Except the one you used for Claire – I hate that one intensely.
Thanks for killing Frogurt via arrow in the chest,
And I’m sure the guys want to give thanks for seeing Kate undressed.
Thanks for Henry Gale’s balloon, Michael’s raft, and Desmond’s yacht,
Thanks for Scott and Steve – or wait – is it Steve and Scott?
Thanks for Vincent, Ben’s bunny, and Patchy’s little cat,
And thanks for Daniel’s Eloise, his white time-traveling rat.
Thanks for killing Nikki/Paulo and having Arzt go up in flames,
Despite the fact that he blew up, Leslie’s still a bitchin’ name.
Thanks for Sayid’s torcha scrunchie, the Jesus stick, and Ben’s baton,
Although I’m thanking no one for the drowning of the Kwons. ;_;
Thanks for all the “sons of bitches” “och brothahs” and “dudes,”
But most of all thanks for all the “Don’t tell me what I can’t dos!”
4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42
I’ll never see them the same again, so for that I thank you.
Thank you for ax-wielding Claire, she really is a nutter,
Although we still look back with love at Charlie’s peanut butter.
Michael went from dad to killer, but he claimed it’s not his fault,
So thanks for making Michael go and find his boy – WAAAAAAAAAAAAAALT!
Even though at first I couldn’t stand to see her smirk,
Thanks anyway for the kickass baby doctor Juliet Burke.
Thanks for all the mindtrips like Locke’s weird sweat lodge vision,
And thanks for letting John survive so many vehicle collisions.
Thanks for Kate and Sawyer’s sexy jungle bear cage scene,
Nothing gets you in the mood like a fish biscuit machine!
Thanks for Des and Penny’s heartbreaking freighter call,
Since for so long it seemed like they’d never reunite at all.
Thanks for Mr. Friendly and Richardo’s eyelashes,
Thanks for all the back, forward, and sideways flashes.
Thanks for killing Cooper, Keamy, Pickett, and Ana-Lucia dead,
And thanks for having Charlie call Aaron Turniphead.
Thanks for starting half the shows with someone’s open eye,
And even though it made us laugh, thanks for the CGI.
Although it’s what eventually led Daniel to his doom,
Thank you for his journal and his Constant, Desmond Hume.
Thanks for Sayid’s always impressive MacGyver skills,
And thanks for Eloise despite the fact that she always gives me chills.
Thanks for Mama Cass and Shambala in the van,
And thanks for making Daddy Linus the real Roger Work Man.
Thanks for Carmen Reyes, Mr. Cluck’s and Hurley hugs,
Thanks for Charles Widmore and his freighter full of thugs.
Rest in peace all those that left the show too soon,
Like Eko, Libby, Shannon, Daniel, Alex, Tom, and Boone.
Thanks for Christian Shephard’s jerky immorality,
And thanks for Patchy’s seeming immortality.
Thanks for Jin’s ghost story he told around the camp fire,
Thanks for that time Kate found the Others’ fake attire.
Thank you for the golf game, and for many a music montage,
And thanks for Jacob’s super creepy cave name collage.
Thanks for getting Jack to remove Ben’s fatal tumor,
We don’t know what we’d do without Benry’s sense of humor.
Thanks for Goodwin and for Kelvin and for Ethan’s creepy stare,
Thanks for Radzinsky’s bitchiness and Miles’ douchey dad Pierre.
Thanks for Frank Lapidus and his manly hairy chest,
Thanks for Richard giving baby!Locke that weirdo leader test.
Thanks for having Desmond wake up naked and confused,
And thanks for keeping Benjamin all beaten up and bruised.
Thanks for the Black Rock, and the statue with four toes,
And thanks for having Bernard find his way back to his Rose.
Thanks for letting Sun atone for her old pre-island sins,
We’d all have been so sad if that baby wasn’t Jin’s.
Thanks for the frozen donkey wheel and the portal in Tunisia,
Thanks for taking Jack’s appendix without any anesthesia. :)
Thank you for Room 23 and the crazy brainwash chair,
Thanks for having Theresa fall up and down the stairs.
Thanks for Sawyer’s nicknames and his awesome reading glasses,
And thanks for always letting him kick some major bad guys’ asses.
Even though I hate him, I’m giving thanks for Dr. Jack,
Because really, without him? There probably wouldn’t be an ack attack!
Thank you Michael Giacchino for making us both sad and pumped,
And special thanks for ending all Ben’s lines with poot poot BRUMP.
Thanks to Jorge, Matthew, Harold, Michael, Terry, Josh, both Ians, and Naveen,
Yunjin, Daniel, Maggie, Nestor, Emilie, Jeremy, Elizabeth, Adewale, Dom, and Evangelline.
I could go on forever, my love for Lost runs deep,
But now I’ll bring this to a close before I start to weep.
No more gun fights, no more monster, no more daddy issues,
I hope you’ve all stocked up on lots of Dharma tissues.
Our stiff upper lips may fail us when the screen at last goes black,
And I for one know I’ll be crying just as hard as Jack.
No more island, no more Dharma, no more hatch or crazy mothers,
No more beaches, no more flashes, no more Jears or Others.
Lost we love you, and we’ll miss you – there will never be another.
But I’m glad to say that if we’ve learned anything, we’ll see you in another life, brothah.
;__________________________;
*group hug*
I love you more than I can say for this.
I’m just watching lost tribute videos over and over and jearsing all over the place already…
AMAZING! Oh Ack, how I love thee.
Oh Christ, here comes the waterworks…*jears*
Excellent. Thank you.
As a long time reader and Ack Attack fan, thanks for this… I totally got all Jearsy at the end!
:( This makes me so sad. I can’t believe sunday is the last day for lost! Great poem miss. I gotta say though, who are the two young blonde girls in the picture after the group cast photos? They look way too young to be clarie and shannon!!
That was AWESOME…
So sad :(
Fantastic. Now I’m all weepy again just like I was last night. I’ve said this to anyone who’ll listen – but I will miss you reviewing this show very, very much. I put your reviews right between my devotion to torcha scrungies & my hatred of John Locke’s MOOBS in my list of things that contributed to my total Lost experience these past few years. So thank you. You are a tremendous talent & you can betcha, you definitely will not be the only one shedding massive jears come Sunday.
Brava!!!
~sniffle~
Love, love, LOVE your Ode.
Very sad but absolutely perfect!
Great poem Rachel! :)
Ugg, nothing is going to be the same after Sunday. This will probably hit me harder than the BSG finale…
Ack,
You are the best. You’ve increased the awesomeness of Lost a million times over.
:)
so, i was reading this and i actually got really emotional about it. all season, there has always been ___ # of episodes left, and now… well, there just isn’t anymore except for one. i’m starting to really grasp everything that isn’t gonna be around anymore, and most of it is things/people i’ve grown remarkably attached to for a tv show. 5 more days and it’s all over? insanity…
brb jearsing forever.
(stands up)Clap clap clap clap!
OH what an awesome poet you are! Thanks so much for this final ode.
Its been a great roller coaster ride that I have loved almost every second (minus Niki and Paulo)
Okay Okay, loving Dom and Jorge in this show has even managed to outshine those misfits above. I loved it ALL
“Thanks for taking Jack’s appendix without any anesthesia. :)”
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!
I love it all. Thanks!
I’m gonna miss this show so much! D:
And I’m gonna miss your recaps even more!
Thanks for all your great recaps, Ack! Let the Jears begin…
Thank YOU, Rachel. For your recaps and this poem and the Benry Knows Best comics and the Daily Dose of Lost, and just everything that you do. Truly amazing, thank you so much.
OMG – I’m so jears right now – Ack, thank you SO much!
[…] won’t be much to discuss other than love or hate. Fingers crossed. For now, I leave you with Ack’s Ode to Lost, which reminds us of a simpler time when Lost wasn’t about an epic battle of good and evil […]
[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Emeline, Jennifer Bailey, Elizabeth, Kristian Blake, Cindy C and others. Cindy C said: *sniff* RT @ack_: My Ode to #Lost http://bit.ly/cjaYZ0 ;_; […]
Amazing Ode Ack….
Very sad and touching…
LOST I will miss you!
:……………(. beautiful. just beautiful. seriously. four days and it´s over. forever. forever! FOREVER! but i guess it´s a great thing that we´re already missing it this much. probably means it´s going out in style, just as michael emerson promised us it would!
MY HEART IS TOO FULL OF SADNESS AND LE.
AUUUGHH JEARS ALL AROUND.
And by “sadness and le”, I of course mean … “sadness in love”.
Sorry, I always typo when my heart is being slowly crushed with grief.
awww, i am holding back tears at my desk at work reading this… i had to read it in parts!
very well done! i will totally miss this after The End!
Awesome – what, no thanks (or screenshot) of MiB or Jacob?
Am I really getting teary eyed over Lost ending? Yes, yes I am. Beautiful and hilarious poem. Well done.
awww ack this is fabulous.
No *sweet ass sax solo* at the end? :D
I agree with everything you’ve touched upon. However, I will add my very own thanks for “bikini-Shannon” in season 1. The most important thing however, is that, Lost won’t end for me until I’ve read your last and final recap.
This brings the jears. Oh how I’ll miss it!
Wonderful ode! Ack you are a lost master!
I didn’t expect this to make me teary-eyed, but it did. I do love this show. Especially Sawyer and Hurley. And Charlie. And Juliet. I’m going to miss them all so very much.
*cries* That was great, Miss Ack.
Maybe if I don’t watch it Sunday, it won’t be over. *sobs*
Oh…my…God. This…I can’t even…it’s beyond words, Ack. This seriously should be read to every single person who was ever involved with Lost. It was simply amazing and I think it’s going to help give me closure on this show that I’ve been obsessed with for like ever. ;__; Thanks so much for this…you are beyond awesome!
(Although I must agree with Anonymous, I think this poem also requires a screenshot of Jacob and Smokey somewhere! And also maybe their crazy momma…’cuz seriously, if you think about it, Lost might have never happened if she had just let Smokey leave the island!)
Well gee thanks for making me cry at 9:00am on a Wednesday morning, Ack!
That poem is super swell!
And here I was feeling less than overwhelmed by last night’s episode. I take it all back after reading this. I think I’m just in denial that it’s going to end in a few short days. *jears a plenty*
Thanks for helping me get in touch with my real feelings! I may never get this knot out of my throat now.
Difficult to choose, but I think this was my favorite line:
Thanks for the frozen donkey wheel and the portal in Tunisia,
Thanks for taking Jack’s appendix without any anesthesia. :)
Great work; hard to believe the end is near.
That was AWESOME. Thank you so much for this. I’ve been addicted to your recaps for a long time, and this is the perfect way to end it :)
And a shout out to Ben’s delicious baked hams…
Oh… and thank YOU for the pics of Smoochy Des and Tiara Dan. So much love and sadness. I’m a friggin’ rollercoaster today. I’ll be a total mess on Sunday and at work on Monday. DEAL WITH IT CO-WORKERS!
Wow, this is truly an impressive collection of moments and characters – and it all rhymes! Excellent job!
That was amazing, great job! It was the perfect mix of funny and sad. I actually got emotional near the end.
I totally agree with you on Juliet, I loathed her at first but now I love her, hell I named my pet after her.
I can’t believe it’s really the end, this show has been apart of my life for six years. I feel like I’m losing a best friend or family member. Isn’t that just pathetic?
This is one of the most awesomely awesome things I’ve ever seen! There are no words.
Damn Rachel. You made me cry. I wasn’t expecting that. I’m sure people have already started to, but I’m going to link this to Damon and Carlton on Twitter. Maybe you’ll hear from them!
Bravo! *big applause*
And many thanks to YOU, for all you’ve done for us LOST fans as well. I’ve always looked forward to your recaps and commentary and ongoing posts…I’ll miss it!!
OMG what am I going to care about after Sunday?!! :-(
Oh, I can see it now. I’m gonna keep it in one bawling till whenever your recaps are due. Thanks for the laugh and the sobs. Lost wouldn’t be the same without you. SMOOCH.
I was cryin’ last night, most of the morning and now I’m cryin’ again…great job, darlin’!
Oh Ray-Ray-RACHEL!!! Love you and need to tell you how awesome you are…
Alright, SUE ME, I’m Jears-ing too!! :D What’s that line from Steel Magnolias…”Laughing through tears is my favorite emotion” or something to that effect…