This week on Lost, Richard has the worst week of his decidedly loooong life, Jacob and Smokey face off, and Hurley does some ghost whispering.
So previously on Lost, we know that Jacob went to visit Ilana while she was all wrapped up like a mummy, and we knew that he asked her to help him with something.
“Ilana, if you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal.”
Right after he called her Freddie, and asked her to call him Al, he’s like, “Okay I need you to protect these six people, they are the remaining candidates. To replace me. It’s what you’ve been preparing for. Now let me just lay my hands all over that melon of yours…”
“Dudes. How come they didn’t just show us THAT part of the convo in the finale last year? I mean…it would have cleared a lot up, amiright?”
And then it’s like 5 minutes later and Jacob has apparently worked his magic all over Ilana’s face (get your minds out of the gutter, people) because she has-ah been-ah HEALED-AH with the powah of the LAWD-AH!
Ilana: Not that I’m saying that this plan sucks or anything, but what if something goes wrong?
Jacob: Find Richardus, he’ll know what to do.
Ilana: How will I know which one is Richardus?
Jacob: He’ll be the dashingly handsome man with the voluminous eyelashes. Or, ya know…just look for the only dude without pit stains.
***
But as we saw back at the Black Rock, our pal Richard has kind of lost his marbles a little bit! Judging by the amount of crazed giggling and twitching, I’d say he’s one fry short of a Happy Meal.
To prove just how crazy he is, he calmly informs everyone that they’re not really on an island, but they’re all DEAD! And IN HELL!
Super Crazy Lost Fans: Oh Darlton you saucy minx!! I’m not falling for this ruse!
Your Everyday Lost Fans: I don’t think I’d mind Hell if it was on a tropical island full of hot people.
The n00b Lost fans: I totally bet this is purgatory, you guys.
So then Ben tries to explain to everyone how he met Richard when he was 12.
“You know that slogan a Diamond is Forever? Well…Richard is like a diamond. A sexy, Latino diamond.”
And Hurley’s having this conversation with a ghost who conveniently speaks Spanish! Because if they spoke Swahili or something this episode would be a whole lot less interesting.
Ghost: ¿Habla Espanol?
Hurley: ¡Si, hablo Espanol!
Ghost: Bueno! ¿Donde esta la biblioteca?
And Richard ran off to join the Dark Side because if you’re really in Hell, you might as well show a little sympathy for the devil, right?
***
Lost Writers: Now we’re going to show you Richard’s story…from the beginning!
Audience: Whee!
Lost Writers: Which, translated into Latin, is Ab Aeterno!
Audience: lol…sort of episode title?
He must be wearing Old Spice because he is on a horse! Richard paints with all the colors of the wind!
The year? 1867. The place? Hawaii Tenerife, Canary Islands. The problem? Richard’s wife Isabella is coughing up blood! Oh no!!
Richard: Yeesabella, you are burning up!
Isabella: It’s only because hearing you say my name like that gets me all hot, my love.
Audience: Or maybe it’s because you’ve got a freaking fire burning inside a hut on a tropical island…?
Richard: I will save you, darling!
Richard’s got this plan to get the doctor, and since 19th century Canary Island healthcare is so much like modern America’s, he’s going to be bringing his whole life savings to pay for one freaking visit.
Isabella: Our life savings will only cover the co-pay! Here, take my cross. It should cover like 4 days worth of antibiotics.
Richard: I’ll be back in two shakes of a puppy’s tail, my dear. Don’t you go dying on me, aight?
Isabella: We will always be together no matter what!
Richard: Live together, die alone!
Isabella: You will see me in the next life, if not this one!
Richard: I’ll see ya in another life, brothah!
Isabella: WAAAAAAALT!!!!!!1!
So Richard rides his ass off in the pouring rain to go see this doctor, and when he gets there we see that this guy’s bedside manner makes Jack look like Patch Adams! He’s like the biggest dick ever!!
Not only will he not come out to see Isabella, but he tells Richard that all his money AND her cross ain’t enough to pay for a teeny bit of medicine! So Richard understandably freaks out and the two of them have a little tussle! Unfortunately for everyone involved, the doctor literally does a *head desk* and dies instantly! Which wouldn’t have been too bad considering what a smacked ass he was, but the freaking butler saw it happen, so Richard’s in trouble!
He grabs the medicine and flees, only to find his beloved Yeesabella has died in the interim! And it was super sad!!
Right after he got done screaming “I AM FORTUNE’S FOOL!!!!!!!!!” to the sky, the coppers showed up and carted him off prison before he could even say a proper goodbye. This guy just can’t catch a break!
***
So he’s in that prison from Pirates of the Caribbean, and this priest shows up, and since this is Lost, Richard has some Father Issues.
Richard: Are you here to take my confession?
Priest: If by “confession” you mean “crush your soul and any shred of hope or dignity you had left” then absolutamente!!
Richard: You mean you can’t absolve me of my sins? This is bullshit!
“Normally a little penance would do the trick, but you’re scheduled for the gallows hasta mañana. Say hi to Satan for me.”
“¡Ay, ay, ay, no es bueno!â€
But right in the nick of time, Captain Norrington shows up and buys Richard off the priest for like a buck fifty!
Norrington: Where’d you learn to speak English?
Richard: College…and the Police Academy movies.
Anyway Richard (and his strong hands lol) are now the property of Magnus Hanso, which is verrrry eenteresting!
***
♪♪ On the good ship Black Rock,
It’s a slave ship brought by Jacob
To an island wheeeere your dead wife might show up out of thin air ♪♪
We get some more terrible CGI, but to be fair these special effects probably looked awesome in the 1800’s.
So one of the other slave guys is freaking out because when he looked outside he saw the statue and he’s all “EL DIABLO!!!!!!” and this storm is going crazy and the FREAKING SHIP SLAMS INTO THE STATUE AND BREAKS IT!!! And then it rides this killer wave all the way inland!!!
The next morning the sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and the asshole ship captain is on a killing spree!! Instead of trying to actually HELP anyone, this guy comes down below deck and starts stabbing everyone to death!
And then – just as he was about to make a Riccardo-kebob – he hears a familiar tch-tch-tch-tch sound!!! It was time for this power tool to take a ride on the SMOKEY EXPRESS.
Norrington: Who’s gonna save you now?
Richard: IDK MY BFF SMOKEY?
Smokey: HEY RICHIE! DON’T LET THE BASTARDS KEEP YOU DOWN, BUDDY!!!
Norrington: What in the blazes!?
Richard: EL DIABLO!!!!!! EL DIABLO!!!!!!!!
Smokey: MIND THE GAP, PLEASE.
And with that, he pulled the captain up through the floor and SMOTE THE SHIT OUT OF HIM. It. Was. Awesome.
Then Smokey came back again, and did his little paparazzi flashy lights thing in Richard’s face, and as it turns out, secondhand Smokey doesn’t actually kill as we’ve been lead to believe.
So Richard was stuck doing his penance after all. Still chained to the ship, with nothing but increasingly bloaty/rank dead bodies to keep him company, Richard’s next few days made Sayid’s torcha look like a walk in the park. He MUST be in Hell!
And yet, he’s still not crying. It really was just raining on his face.
To make matters even worse, Daphne a wild boar stopped by and started eating the dead people! And when it ran away (where’d it run away to, anyway? Do boars walk up ladders? Are they like, built for that?) it kicked Richard’s nail, his only means of escape, out of reach!!
All the fangirls have been waiting patiently to see how hot it would be to see Richard in chains ever since Mocke brought it up, but this is just TOO SAD. We take it back, Richard!! WE’RE SORRY, OKAY??
To make matters EVEN WORSE, if that’s EVEN POSSIBLE, Yeesabella shows up and tells Richard that they’re in Hell! As if that wasn’t already ABUNDANTLY CLEAR!!
But of course it wasn’t Isabella, it was Smokey all gussied up to look like her! He’s all, “I’M IN UR BRAIN, FINDIN UR WEAKNESSES!”
Then we hear Smokey coming back again, and Richard tells Isabella to *swoon* SAVE HERSELF!! And he had to listen to her dying all over again!!!
His back story is even more depressing than Locke’s for chrissakes!! His emo, let me show u it. ;_;
And just as all ye who entered here were about to abandon hope, someone comes in and gets all handsy with Richard, and we’re all like “OMG IS THIS JACOB TOUCHING HIM AND GIVING HIM ETERNAL LIFE/LUCSCIOUS LASHES!?”
NO! EVEN BETTER!! It was Mr. Evil Incarnate himself, the MAN! IN! BLAAAACK! And he told Richard that yes, he was in the Hell, and yes, the Devil has Isabella, and yes, there is a way to get her back, and yes, he did get a haircut, thanks for asking!
Smokey: Will you form an alliance with me?
Richard: YES.
Smokey: I can unlock these shackles if you promise to do everything I say.
Richard: I’ll do it!
Smokey: Even if I double dare you?
Richard: Yes!
Smokey: Even if I give you the physical challenge??
Richard: OMG JUST STFU ALREADY AND UNLOCK ME!!!!
And Richard was finally free!!!!! And he got to smile once in this whole episode!!!
Smokey: It’s good to see you out of those chains.
Lost Writers: You’re welcome.
Audience: *slow clap*
***
“So here’s your physical challenge: in order to escape from Hell and rescue the Princess, you’re going to need to take this special knife and stick it in El Diablo’s chest. If he speaks to you it’s already too late! It’s easy. Like Sunday morning.”
“How am I supposed to stab black smoke? And anyway how come Dogen’s instructions to kill you are the same instructions you’re giving me to kill Jacob? And Lionel Richie lyrics? Srsly?”
Smokey: That’s none of your concern. Now hurry – if you don’t get your ass in gear, I’ll lock you back up in that ship – all night long.
Richard: All night??
Smokey: All night. All night long. Yeah.
Richard: ¡Ay, Dios no me ama!
***
So our intrepid hero marches his way to the foot, where the Devil supposedly lives. (I want to go to this Special Hell, where you can just lay around on the beach all day!)
So he’s walking towards the statue with the knife, ready to get all stabby, when Jacob comes out of nowhere and goes all Cosa Nostra on him!!
“Are YOU talking to ME!? HEH!? Who do you think you are, coming into MY neighborhood and trying to WHACK ME!? VAFFANCULO!! I EAT PIECES OF SHIT LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!”
“You eat pieces of shit for breakfast??”
Jacob: SHUT UP, RICHARD!
Richard: Are you the Devil?
Jacob: I’m not the Devil.
Richard: Am I dead?
Jacob: You’re not dead.
Richard: So you don’t have Yeesabella?
Jacob: I think Richard Alpert wants to sleep with the fishes.
:O “¡AY AY AY! NO ME GUSTA!”
So he almost drowns Richard to prove to him that he’s actually alive! He totally got baptized/hazed into the Church of Jacob!
***
“Sorry about all the water. Half of that was to cleanse your soul and half of it was to cleanse your body. You smelled like a diseased rhino’s ass.”
“Well I’m sorry I tried to stab you to death. That Man in Black guy had me convinced you were El Diablo. If he hates you so much, how come you don’t just let him go?”
Using some wine and an Erlenmeyer flask (Arzt would be so proud) Jacob explained that all the evil in the world (i.e. Smokey!) is apparently contained right there on the island! It’s totally a Hellmouth! Someone call Buffy!
If he hadn’t stuck a cork in it, all of this evil would have seeped out into the rest of the world, and then everyone would become flesh-eating zombies or monsters or Jaters or something! And as if that wasn’t enough mindfuckery to handle, he told Richard that he does stuff like brings ships full of people to the island to prove to Smokey that people are inherently good!
Richard: But that’s not true, all the men on my ship starting murdering people as soon as we landed here.
Jacob: Well it’s not a perfect theory…I’m still working out a few kinks.
Richard: One of those kinks almost ran a sword through my gut, you pendejo.
Jacob: LOL yeah…sorry about that. Let me make it up to you. I can grant you one wish.
Richard: Can you bring back my wife?
Jacob: Um, I’m not a magician, amigo.
Richard: Can you absolve me of my crime so I don’t go to Hell?
Jacob: Who do you think I am, anyway? No one can do that!
Richard: Okay, okay. Fine. Can you at least make me immortal??
Jacob: No problemo!
And so not only did Jacob make Richard immortal, he also hired him to be his consiglieri! Apparently Richard had been on a job interview this whole time and didn’t even know it!
Richard: I need to go back to the Man in Black. What about the knife?
Jacob: Leave the knife, take the cannoli.
***
So Richard goes back to Smokey, and right away Smokey knows it’s no dice, and he’s like, “You let him talk, didn’t you?”
“He made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
Smokey was definitely disappointed in Richard, but he gave him Isabella’s cross anyway, and told him if he ever changed his mind that his offer still stands. Pretty decent thing for a guy to do, especially when that guy is supposed to be, by definition, the biggest asshole EVER, right?
Richard buries the cross in the ground, cries a few more Rears, and then goes off to start his new life. First on the agenda? Find some waterproof mascara, a J. Crew catalog, a good moisturizer, and a man purse.
***
Which brings us back to the present! Richard’s digging up that old ass cross, and he’s still all TO’ed about Jacob being a big fat liar, pants on fire (literally) and he’s screaming into the sky ala Jack Shephard, going “DOES YOUR OFFER STILL STAND!?”
But instead of Smokey showing up, it’s Hurley! And then all of the sudden we collectively remember that he’d been talking to a Spanish-speaking ghost!
Hurley: Okay dude, don’t move and don’t freak out, but…
Richard: omg IS THERE A BUG ON ME? *screeches*
Hurley: Um…not exactly.
It wasn’t a bug, it was Yeesabella!!! AW!!!!! Isn’t it just SO convenient that Hurley never saw her until this episode? LOL.
So Hurley pulls an Oda Mae Brown and lets Richard have a conversation with Isabella through him!
“She wants you to know that your English is awesome, and it’s not your fault she died, and that you’ve suffered enough, and you use just the right amount of product in your hair.”
Richard was very glad he had used his waterproof manscara that day. He couldn’t handle being this sad and having raccoon eyes right now.
Richard: I love you, Isabella. I’ve always loved you.
Isabella: Ditto.
*cue Righteous Brothers*
“And one last thing, dude. She said if we don’t stop Smokey from leaving this island, we’re all going to Hell. In a handbasket.”
So now that Richard seems to have his shit together again, I guess that means he’s going to stop running around the island with his arms flailing over his head like a Muppet.
And for that I am sorry. Sigh.
And what episode wouldn’t be complete without Mocke silently lurking in the background, making creepy faces?
***
Jacob: I knew it was you, Fredo. You broke my heart!
Smokey: So you know I tried to kill you, big whoop, wanna fight about it?
Jacob: How about I just ignore you, you little pissant?
“Don’t you turn your back on me, Jacob. I want you to look at me when I kill you. I want to see the light leave your eyes!”
“Try to kill me all you want, compadre. Good >>> Evil. You’ll figure that out someday. Smell ya later.”
“Uh, yeah, okay. See you soon. Sooner than you think. IN YOUR NIGHTMARES. MWA HA HA!!!!!! Or on the set of Supernatural.”
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Wow, I was wondering how you would pull off this week’s recap, given that it was such a good episode. And as usual, it is an absolute delight to read.
I really liked the Godfather reference as I always thought Jacob would be played by Al Pacino.
“Are YOU talking to ME!? HEH!? Who do you think you are, coming into MY neighborhood and trying to WHACK ME!? VAFFANCULO!! I EAT PIECES OF SHIT LIKE YOU FOR BREAKFAST!â€
The above seems vaguely familiar but I can’t remember, were you inspired by some show/movie?
When the cork/wine scene came up, my girlfriend immediately went : “WTF! The island is a tampon?!?” 8-O
Old Spice! Those commercials still crack me up. I was going to list my favorite parts of the recap but the list was way too long, there were so many great laugh out loud moments. Excellent job!
I don’t think that was Isabella Hurley was “talking to” for Richard. I think that was Jacob PRETENDING to be Isabella to scare Richard back into line. I don’t think Jacob is going to end up being the good guys in this: I think he is very possibily “el diablo”.
@Jenn & @Taraa “Donde esta la biblioteca” wasn’t necessarily a shout out to Community (it’s just one of those things people are always saying LOL particularly Jon Stewart. When I was in high school I used to go around saying “Vivo en un estacion de autobuses” which means I live in the bus station!)
Anyway I do watch and love Community!!!!!! I almost put a “NO GHOSTING” clause into this recap! XD
Ack, like so many of your other readers, I want to thank you for your humor. I quite literally was dreading this morning and had a horrible, no-good, very bad Friday (which ruined my weekend.) Being able to start off reading your recap and bringing a smile to my face, much laughter and a break from my worries made all the difference. Thank you sincerely.
Well Done Ack!
This recap rocked!
Jacob: LOL yeah…sorry about that. Let me make it up to you. I can grant you one wish.
Richard: Can you bring back my wife?
Jacob: Um, I’m not a magician, amigo.
Richard: Can you absolve me of my crime so I don’t go to Hell?
Jacob: Who do you think I am, anyway? No one can do that!
Richard: Okay, okay. Fine. Can you at least make me immortal??
Jacob: No problemo!
Love that part!
“She wants you to know that your English is awesome, and it’s not your fault she died, and that you’ve suffered enough, and you use just the right amount of product in your hair.â€
LOL, great recap for a fantastic episode Ack! Poor Richard, I hope his emo phase has come to an end, he’s much hotter when he’s in charge and not emo.
My favorite useless high school Spanish phrase is “Donde esta el cuarto de bano?” Ask that in a bar or restaurant and you’ll get some strange looks.
Uh — dude — not to go all nautical on you or anything, but it’s “deck,” not “floor.”
“I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast….”
“You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?”
I heart Happy Gillmore
THIS IS SHOOTER’S TOUR
I can’t decide if I want muppet arms or regular Ricardo. I AM sorry I wanted to see him in chains. I’m SORRY, because it honestly was too sad.
Perfect Job, Rachel.
Man, did Richard play the Numbers in the 1860s lottery, or what? Dude was cursed with the worst. week. ever. Seriously – the doctor, the priest, and the slave owner were all horrible! And he lost his wife (although kinda not really?)! Poor Ricardo/Ricardus (I’m with the other people who wanna know – what’s up with that name change?)
¡¡¡Ay, Ay, Ay, this recap is MUCHO BUENO!!!
And Jacob is a real pendejo. Totally.
Awesome sauce. I’m fully expecting Jacob to actually be the devil after all and for Lost and Supernatural to have a mahoosive cross over ending.
Props for so, so many things:
1. Romeo and Juliet shout-out
2. Ditto “Ghost”
and BEST of all…Simpsons Spanish Bee Guy (Abeja Dude!) references!
Oh Ack! It’s just too much…Too much to take in!
Pocahontas, Old Spice and True Blood references, oh my!
I LOLed so hard at “One of those kinks almost ran a sword through my gut, you pendejo.” Add in a few “Hijo de puta”s, and it’d be perfect!
BTW, I worked for J.Crew, and you could kill two birds with one stone with the J.Crew catalog and manpurse…We totally carried two different murses.
“OMG, is there a bug on me???” BWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
So now that Richard seems to have his shit together again, I guess that means he’s going to stop running around the island with his arms flailing over his head like a Muppet…..
The mental image of that had me in fits of laughter.
“Mind the Gap;” Please tell me that was a shout out to Neil Gaiman!!!! Why would I doubt, of course it was!! I too will miss the flailing Muppet arms. As always, you rock Ack!
VAFFANCULO!! lol
I want you to look at me when I kill you. I want to see the light leave your eyes! << whats that from? its on the tip of my tounge but i cannot place it and its driving me INSANE!!!!!
ahhh too much goodness was in this recap so i wont mention any in particular. ill just put a big "LOL OMG NOWAY EPIC SHIT" smile on my face and be on my way xD
okay maybe just one… Well…Richard is like a diamond. A sexy, Latino diamond.
Just cuz I’m nit-picky and nerdy, the wine decanter is shaped more like a Florence flask than an Erlenmeyer flask.
Anyway, once again, stellar recap!
Gotta say this week’s recap was not the best I’ve ever read. But it was one of the best episodes ever so I don’t blame you for dropping the ball a bit. You were probably still stunned from Tuesday night’s awesomeness.
Thank you for your kind comment Rachel, perhaps it was because I got laid off this week and am not much in the mood for lolz.
Ugh. Why do people leave such comments. If you don’t have anything nice to say, why say it at all?
“If he hadn’t stuck a cork in it, all of this evil would have seeped out into the rest of the world, and then everyone would become flesh-eating zombies or monsters or Jaters or something!” —-> ahaah love the Jaters part.
“Ilana, if you’ll be my bodyguard, I can be your long-lost pal.‗- nice reference.
Oh my God i laughed so hard that my belly still hurts!!! My parents are looking strangely at me hahaahah!
I’m italian and i almost DIED at the VAFFANCULO part, i’m still laughing ahah
YOU’RE REALLY THE BEST! “BRAVO”! :D
@Rachel, you are way out of line. Didn’t your mother teach you any manners?
@Ack, your recap is brilliant. It’s my favorite of the season (so far.) Sorry to hear about your job. That really sucks. You are very much appreciated here. I’m sending you plenty of good wishes and positive vibes.
Ack – The recap was superb, as always. You have an amazing gift for humor.
Ack, I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been laid off. That you could do such a brilliant recap with that going on is a tribute to your wonderful wit. I hope you are soon employed in a job that makes the most of your talents. I don’t know what that will be, but whoever hires you will be fortunate!
*STANDING OVATION SLOW CLAP**
Ack, whenever I think you can’t possibly top yourself, you do. Thank you so much for these recaps. So sorry to hear about your job. You should head out to LA and do some writing! With talent like yours, you’ll kill ’em!!!
This whole thing was brilliant, but…
“Donde esta la biblioteca?”
I died.
Long time reader, first time commenter here. I love your recaps and this is one of the best IMO.
Smokey: It’s good to see you out of those chains.
Lost Writers: You’re welcome.
Audience: *slow clap*
Seriously this is what was in my head when I watched this episode.
Thanks, Ack, for making me look at Lost in a new way every week.
The n00b Lost fans: I totally bet this is purgatory, you guys.
I bet it totally is.
:P
Still as funny as ever, Ack. :D
Ack! Love you, love your show! Sorry about your job; you should definitely write for tv and bring up the standards!
One thing about the episode: I hate to defend that jerk of a priest, but I think that he brought Richard to the attention of the slaver specifically so that Richard would live and have time to repent and not be condemned to Hell. In a way it was touching.
@Lafleur, that line’s from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Voldermort shouts it in the fight scene with Harry.
Man, I am SO sad that I know that.
@Wintergirl
If you’ve been doing anything on the internet for a while, someone is bound to point out that you are slipping. Whether you are or not. Rachel’s comment didn’t strike me as mean-spirited. “way out of line” seems more than a slight exaggeration.
@Kate:
Good point about the priest finding a way for Richard to live longer so that he could repent. (He still seemed like a jerk, though.)
Ack, I’m sorry to hear about your employment woes. But you should definitely be writing professionally (if you haven’t been already) ~~ your powers of observation + your fantastic sense of humor should take you far.
All the fangirls have been waiting patiently to see how hot it would be to see Richard in chains ever since Mocke brought it up, but this is just TOO SAD. We take it back, Richard!! WE’RE SORRY, OKAY??
OMG SO TRUUUUUUUEEEE!!!!
“Sorry about all the water. Half of that was to cleanse your soul and half of it was to cleanse your body. You smelled like a diseased rhino’s ass.â€
The cap here matched this PERFECTLY!!!!
Great recap!
Loved these parts:
If he hadn’t stuck a cork in it, all of this evil would have seeped out into the rest of the world, and then everyone would become flesh-eating zombies or monsters or Jaters or something!
Hurley: Okay dude, don’t move and don’t freak out, but…
Richard: omg IS THERE A BUG ON ME? *screeches*
Hurley: Um…not exactly.
LOVE all the references to Ghost. I can only hope we’ll see some sexy pottery-makin’ scenes before the series ends. Maybe? Hmm, maybe that’d be better off as a fanfic. ;)
I had a feeling the Richard-centric episode would be epic, and it totally was. That sexy Latino diamond!
Great recap, but I was really expecting you run with the part when Hurley tells Jack that this has nothing to do with him. It’s about time someone did. It’s not always about you, Jack! (I wouldn’t say that you dropped the ball, though; it was excellent as per usual.)
How are you so consistently funny!?!? how do you do it?!?
Re: Kate’s comment about the priest…
Do you really believe the priest had a noble motive??
I think it’s pretty obvious that the priest was getting a kickback every time he produced a prisoner who would make a good, English-speaking slave for the ship captain.
Simple greed motivated that priest. Yeah, it’s an ugly world we live in.
Hilarious as usual! I passed this link along to someone I know who works in a pop-culture capacity. I don’t know that there’s any way to marry your skills with their needs, but your web site is its own resume. I hope they can come up with something… being “between opportunities” is a bummer. Hang in there, and let the adoration of your fans buoy you up!
@CE that is so nice of you!! You guys are too good to me :D
@Leah3t I sit in front of my computer every Sunday for 12 hours and rack my brain LOL. That’s about it. I have no idea how/why it keeps working after all this time XD
@Dan I was going to do something with Jack being all “PSH WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!?!?!?!” but to be honest the place I got my screencaps didn’t have a shot of that moment and I was in too much of a time crunch to make my own haha. I’ll have plenty of time to make fun of Jack in the weeks to come, I’m sure ;D
And thank you all for your good wishes with my job situation!!!! I am bummed for sure!
Oh, I’m sure there are many Jears to come; I just honestly thought to myself, “Oh, Rachel will have a field day with that moment” while I was watching.
Best of luck with the job situation.
Great caption for a great episode!
Was it just me, or did someone else was lost in MIB beautiful green eyes?!?!?! I was about to go to the Dark Side with him, just cause of his eyes! He’s looking great! I hope we get to see him more…
I just wanted to say I thought that this was one of your best ever recaps. I look so forward to these, and they really make me laugh! :-)
LOVE LOVE LOVE the Lionel Richie references!! I <3 him!